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style="text-align:center;"> <h2>中華家庭教育理論本該能救她一命的（陳應(yīng)?。?/h2> <span id="zf2li9m" class='time'>(2008-12-06 11:20:00)</span> <span id="2jukj4g" class='editit'><a href="/kcms/blog/blog?b_id=102894">[編輯]</a></span> </div> <div id="wc2qgus" class='articleTag'> <span>分類：</span> <a href="/kcms/blog/lst?sys_types=%E7%84%A6%E7%82%B9%E5%85%B3%E6%B3%A8&tp=blogs">焦點(diǎn)關(guān)注</a> <a href="javascript:void(0);" onclick="kcms.saveit('blogs',102894);">【收藏該博客】</a> </div> <div id="m4v4pnb" class='articleContent'> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">昨天凌晨，我家所在社區(qū)小學(xué)里的一位中年女教師在自家車庫門口自縊身亡了。中午，老伴和女兒玖都帶回了相關(guān)的消息。在另一個(gè)小學(xué)教育音樂的玖說，她們還是朋友，她是個(gè)十分要強(qiáng)的女人，一個(gè)難得的優(yōu)秀教師。她要強(qiáng)，嫌丈夫平庸離了婚；對(duì)讀初三的女兒要求頗高。她優(yōu)秀，教學(xué)很出色，玖說，本來還想明年把兒子送到她班上讀一年級(jí)呢！她這次是因?yàn)楦畠簯Y什么氣，一時(shí)想不開就自殺了。我女兒介紹情況的時(shí)候起先沒說她女兒多大，我一聽便說，她女兒<span lang="EN-US">15</span>歲左右吧！玖說，正在讀初三呢！我說，<span style="COLOR: red">青春叛逆的孩子遇到要強(qiáng)單身的媽媽，搞不好總要出點(diǎn)事的，只是這樣也太慘了</span>。<span lang="EN-US"><?xml version='1.0' encoding='utf-8'?><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">從知道這件事起我就想，</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">如果她學(xué)習(xí)了中華家庭教育理論就不可能發(fā)生這件事了。為此，我為這位優(yōu)秀的女教師惋惜，惋惜她只是個(gè)優(yōu)秀的教師，而不是優(yōu)秀的家長，并因此斷送了自己寶貴的生命。為此，我自責(zé)，如果我能早點(diǎn)把中華家庭教育理論推薦給她學(xué)習(xí)，該不會(huì)有這樣的悲劇發(fā)生。我更迷茫，我雖然沒有把中華家庭教育理論推薦給她，但我在其他地方做過努力，怎么幾乎沒有什么反應(yīng)。我們一個(gè)小小的縣級(jí)市，今年以來就因?yàn)榧彝ソ逃龁栴}出了多起命案，我們這些中華家庭教育志愿者、指導(dǎo)師怎樣做才好呢？<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">在此，我不妨再推薦一下中華家庭教育理論中關(guān)于<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="COLOR: red">現(xiàn)代家庭教育的十大理念</span>：<span lang="EN-US"><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><span style="COLOR: red"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></span></span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: red">1</span><span style="COLOR: red">、學(xué)會(huì)向孩子學(xué)習(xí)<span lang="EN-US"><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>2</span>、孩子不是你的私有財(cái)產(chǎn)<span lang="EN-US"><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>3</span>、教育孩子首先不要輸在家庭教育上<span lang="EN-US"> <br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>4</span>、沒有優(yōu)良的家庭教育是不完整的教育<span lang="EN-US"><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>5</span>、現(xiàn)代家庭教育的核心是育人<span lang="EN-US"><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>6</span>、沒有教不好的孩子，只有不懂教的家長<span lang="EN-US"><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>7</span>、問題孩子的產(chǎn)生主要源于問題家長<span lang="EN-US"><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>8</span>、關(guān)注家長生命成長，改善家長自身素質(zhì)<span lang="EN-US"><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>9</span>、學(xué)會(huì)平等交流是兩代人共同成長基石<span lang="EN-US"><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>10</span>、親子教育要向親職教育轉(zhuǎn)變<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">我還要提醒正處于青春期孩子的家長們，好好學(xué)習(xí)青春期的有關(guān)知識(shí)，理性地善待你的孩子。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">青春期是指男孩和女孩由于荷爾蒙的作用，引起他們?cè)谏眢w上及情緒上的變化，逐漸轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)槌扇说囊欢紊砥?。其生理發(fā)展的特點(diǎn)：<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">1</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">、第二次生長“高峰”期，中樞神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)不能立即適應(yīng)身體的迅速生長，動(dòng)作不夠靈活與協(xié)調(diào)；<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>2</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">、骨骼迅速生長，但是骨化過程尚未完成，容易彎曲和損傷；<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>3</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">、心臟大小增加很少，而血液循環(huán)的路線延長了，因而心臟的活動(dòng)加強(qiáng)了，容易出現(xiàn)頭暈和疲勞現(xiàn)象。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>4</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">、性開始成熟時(shí)期；<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">5</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">、腦重已接近成人，腦的神經(jīng)纖維有顯著的增加，因而腦的機(jī)能大大增強(qiáng)。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"> 青春期的心理特點(diǎn)的主要有：過渡性、社會(huì)性、閉鎖性、動(dòng)蕩性<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">根據(jù)上述特點(diǎn)，家長要注意以下方面：<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">1</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">、要幫助孩子減壓，讓孩子生理、心理得到充分的休息保證其生長發(fā)育的需要；<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">2</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">、要引導(dǎo)孩子適當(dāng)鍛煉身體，促進(jìn)身體個(gè)部位的協(xié)調(diào)發(fā)展；<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">3</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">、加強(qiáng)與孩子的平等交流；<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">4、</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">適時(shí)有分寸地進(jìn)行性教育；<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">5</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">、加強(qiáng)交友的教育；<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">6</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">、注意引導(dǎo)孩子科學(xué)合理地利用電腦等，遠(yuǎn)離網(wǎng)吧。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">家長對(duì)青春期孩子進(jìn)行性心理輔導(dǎo)主要包括三方面：進(jìn)行性心理的基本知識(shí)教育；加強(qiáng)自尊、自愛、自重、自強(qiáng)教育，培養(yǎng)孩子的理智感；進(jìn)行良好的性心理適應(yīng)力訓(xùn)練，培養(yǎng)道德感。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">另外，青春期孩子的家長更要把握嚴(yán)格教育的分寸。在我國有關(guān)教子的警句里，可謂“嚴(yán)”字當(dāng)頭。如“嚴(yán)師出高徒”“棒子底下出孝子”“不受苦中苦，難為人上人”等等。嚴(yán)格要求是否對(duì)孩子的成長就一定有利呢？孩子就像籃球運(yùn)動(dòng)員手中的皮球，拍的越狠，跳的越高，難以控制；拍的太輕，又沒了彈力，成了死球。所以不把握分寸的教育往往就是失敗的開始。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">把握教育的分寸，家長應(yīng)做到以下幾點(diǎn)：<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>1</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">、嚴(yán)中有愛。家長對(duì)孩子的嚴(yán)應(yīng)該滲透著父母無私的愛，這種愛應(yīng)該是寬容的愛，是將教育孩子的視角定位在從尊重孩子生命特性出發(fā)，培養(yǎng)社會(huì)有用人才的目標(biāo)上。而不應(yīng)將孩子狹隘地當(dāng)成自己的私有“財(cái)產(chǎn)”，為滿足自己的虛榮心而一味嚴(yán)格要求。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>2</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">、嚴(yán)中有方。家長對(duì)孩子的嚴(yán)應(yīng)該是建立在尊重孩子身心發(fā)展特點(diǎn)的基礎(chǔ)上，能夠用“蹲下來與孩子同一個(gè)視角看問題”的心態(tài)處理教育孩子的問題。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>3</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">、嚴(yán)中有理。孩子犯了錯(cuò)，家長對(duì)其嚴(yán)肅批評(píng)是正確的，但孩子不一定會(huì)對(duì)自己的錯(cuò)誤認(rèn)識(shí)得清楚。如果家長不循循善誘以理服人，而以專橫粗暴的態(tài)度對(duì)待，將造成孩子的對(duì)立和逆反，更加深父母與子女之間的代溝。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">4</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">、嚴(yán)中有度。“沒有規(guī)矩，不成方圓”，但“繃的越緊，跳得越高”，過分的嚴(yán)厲反而使孩子失去了自我，甚至造成反叛心理。所以嚴(yán)一定要適度。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align="center"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">說到這里，我想大家不會(huì)懷疑我開始說的話了，如果這位優(yōu)秀的中年女教師學(xué)習(xí)了中華家庭教育的這些理論并把它好好地運(yùn)用起來，就不可能發(fā)生這悲劇了，也就是說：</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 楷體_GB2312">中華家庭教育理論本該能救她一命的</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 楷體_GB2312">。</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" width="100%" border="0"> <tbody> 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