失敗父母的八大特征
根據(jù)心理學(xué)家對大批父母的調(diào)查,發(fā)現(xiàn)八種典型的行為易導(dǎo)致失敗的父母:
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沒有原則
一、沒有原則。沒有原則的父母,最終會被子女控制住。曾有位母親一旦聽到孩子說“我不上學(xué)了”,立刻投降,答應(yīng)孩子的任何要求。這位母親最終陷入絕望的境地。
過度保護(hù)
二、過度保護(hù)。父母保護(hù)得越多,孩子越無能。尼采說過,最大的善往往包含最大的惡。
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嘮叨說教啰嗦嚷嚷
三、嘮叨、說教、啰嗦、嚷嚷。這樣的父母通常是低智商的父母,因?yàn)椴粫f些有用的話,因此,只會重復(fù)些無用的話。
贊揚(yáng)泛濫
四、贊揚(yáng)泛濫。對于4歲以上的兒童,你不能總是用“孩子,你真棒”這樣毫無營養(yǎng)價(jià)值的話語“忽悠”自己的孩子。
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懲罰過重
五、懲罰過重。記得初中時(shí),我的一個朋友的媽媽太想讓她的兒子優(yōu)秀,曾經(jīng)讓她的兒子跪了一夜作為懲罰,結(jié)果,我的這個朋友從此精神失常。
剝奪孩子的感受
六、剝奪孩子的感受。父母往往用自己的感受代替孩子的感受,用自己的價(jià)值觀衡量孩子的行為,結(jié)果孩子失去了感受、判斷的機(jī)會。
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成績與創(chuàng)造力本末倒置
七、成績與創(chuàng)造力本末倒置。絕大多數(shù)父母除了關(guān)心孩子的成績,不知道孩子還有比成績更重要的部分需要關(guān)心。
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忽略了樂趣
八、忽略了樂趣。樂觀的天性是父母送給孩子最有價(jià)值的禮物之一。
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