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class='editit'><a href="/kcms/blog/blog?b_id=168174">[編輯]</a></span> </div> <div id="toh54mw" class='articleTag'> <span>分類：</span> <a href="/kcms/blog/lst?sys_types=%E7%88%B6%E6%AF%8D%E8%AF%BE%E5%A0%82&tp=blogs">父母課堂</a> <a href="/kcms/blog/bloglist?status=publish&u_id=528&user_types=%E7%88%B6%E6%AF%8D%E8%AF%BE%E5%A0%82">父母課堂</a> <a href="javascript:void(0);" onclick="kcms.saveit('blogs',168174);">【收藏該博客】</a> </div> <div id="4vpnef2" class='articleContent'> <p align="center"><font face="">今天我們?cè)鯓幼龈改?/font></p> <p><font face=""> 今天，我們?cè)鯓幼龈改福?/font></p> <p><font face="">　　八十多年前，魯迅先生就曾向社會(huì)提出過這個(gè)尖銳的問題。這是一個(gè)無法回避的人生問題。在今天，這樣的命題，仍然新鮮，仍然需要每個(gè)做父母的來回答。也許，這將是一個(gè)永恒的話題，將擺在每一代人的面前。</font></p> <p><font face="">　　金融家兼暢銷書作家陳一夫用他寫給在廈門大學(xué)讀書的女兒的百余封信，作了最好的回答。他的這些信摘，編薈集成一本頗有影響的書：《爸爸的話是財(cái)富的船》。</font></p> <p><font face="">　　讓我受感動(dòng)的首先是這百余封信。自然，和一切父母一樣，陳一夫是愛并關(guān)切他的女兒的。但并不是每個(gè)父母都能如此認(rèn)真地用書信的方式與孩子溝通，堅(jiān)持不懈地給他們講種種人生的道理，把人生“第一老師”的責(zé)任進(jìn)行到底。陳一夫的金融與寫作，都是極為繁忙與疲累的工作，能有閑暇與女兒通通電話，怕也是不錯(cuò)的了，他居然有那么充沛的精力與激情給女兒寫下百余封信。只這一點(diǎn)，就足以給處于浮躁時(shí)代的父母做了一個(gè)榜樣。他的女兒有理由為此感到幸福和驕傲。我想，這位女兒未來做了母親，一定會(huì)像自己的父親一樣，盡到一位母親應(yīng)有的責(zé)任。</font></p> <p><font face="">　　既然是父親寫給女兒的信，充滿父女的親情是自不待言的。但是，這些信又是極具理性的。陳一夫幾乎把從社會(huì)到家庭、從職業(yè)到藝術(shù)，女兒能接觸到的一切話題都談到了。我細(xì)細(xì)地閱讀這些信，驚嘆其幾近人生的百科全書。近些年來，流行一個(gè)詞，叫做“代溝”，是說長幼兩代人之間有一道鴻溝既難跨越，又難溝通。孩子們總覺得父母的觀念陳舊、保守、總是教訓(xùn)人，聽著煩，更不用說去實(shí)踐父母的教導(dǎo)。久而久之，做父母的也便退讓了，任孩子們信馬由韁去自由闖蕩。一旦出了差錯(cuò)，便痛苦、便無奈，或諉過于社會(huì)。當(dāng)然，社會(huì)有社會(huì)的問題；不過那是另一個(gè)需要討論的命題，我們這里談的是做父母的責(zé)任。</font></p> <p><font face="">　　陳一夫卻堅(jiān)持要跨過這道“代溝”，這一百余封書信，便是他搭建在這鴻溝上的橋梁。同樣是說道理，我覺得陳一夫成功的秘密在于他與女兒平等對(duì)話，自由討論；少有居高臨下的指責(zé)和訓(xùn)斥；他敢講真話，不回避那些如金錢、如愛與性一類父母常覺對(duì)子女難以啟齒的話語。還有一些世俗的如人際交往、工作選擇、社會(huì)生活的種種話題，未必都是女兒有興趣聽或能真心接受的，但作為父親，陳一夫堅(jiān)持說出自己的觀點(diǎn)，以備女兒參考。</font></p> <p><font face="">　　陳一夫的說理之所以能服人，大約和他論理的技巧有很大的關(guān)系。比如說，人當(dāng)然應(yīng)該擁有財(cái)富，但社會(huì)總會(huì)有窮人，以人們習(xí)慣的思維模式看，我們并不以擁有財(cái)富的多少來論人生成敗。陳一夫卻從另一個(gè)角度提出了問題：</font></p> <p><font face="">　　“如果未來的你，沒有成為這個(gè)時(shí)代財(cái)富的擁有者，反而在這個(gè)時(shí)代里，依然為生計(jì)苦苦發(fā)愁，那么，你的視野一定有問題，你的能力一定有問題，你的心態(tài)和思想意識(shí)也一定有問題?！?/font></p> <p><font face="">　　這樣提出問題，讓我這個(gè)未擁有社會(huì)財(cái)富的老人，也感到震動(dòng)。我不由得把既往那種怨天尤人，轉(zhuǎn)向了自我反思。確實(shí)，當(dāng)我們走向社會(huì)時(shí)，首先得檢視一下自己，準(zhǔn)備好了沒有?！耙曇啊薄ⅰ澳芰Α?、“心態(tài)和思想意識(shí)”，陳一夫說的這些都應(yīng)是我們進(jìn)入社會(huì)之先必有的裝備。人生的許多挫折常常在于我們自己像一個(gè)沒帶武器的戰(zhàn)士，匆忙走上戰(zhàn)場(chǎng)；沒有被犧牲，常常只是因?yàn)閮e幸。</font></p> <p><font face="">　　在談到與“領(lǐng)導(dǎo)”的關(guān)系時(shí)，陳一夫告訴女兒要“親近領(lǐng)導(dǎo)”。“親近”，是一個(gè)可怕的詞，在職場(chǎng)，真的做到這一點(diǎn)，恐怕受到同事的疏遠(yuǎn)與不齒，是逃不了的。許多單位里，敢于頂撞領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的人，往往是群眾眼里的“英雄”。但是陳一夫的話并不錯(cuò)，他敢于正視世俗觀念，講出道理來。他說：</font></p> <p><font face="">　　“不要以為，把領(lǐng)導(dǎo)當(dāng)父母，是有奶就是娘的勢(shì)利，其實(shí)，在事業(yè)上，領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的作用勝于父母，領(lǐng)導(dǎo)給你的幫助，也多于父母。”</font></p> <p><font face="">　　這當(dāng)然是真話。遇到好的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)，是人生的一大幸事，他賞識(shí)你、重用你、推舉你；反之，將會(huì)是你極大的不幸。所以，陳一夫告誡女兒要懂得“親近領(lǐng)導(dǎo)”。陳一夫?qū)栴}的思考，不避俗，總是提醒女兒多從自身檢查起，嚴(yán)以要求自己。</font></p> <p><font face="">　　說到對(duì)付騙子，陳一夫的提醒是：“如果你有貪點(diǎn)小便宜的想法，你離被騙子欺騙已經(jīng)不遠(yuǎn)了”。這雖是講給孩子的話，其實(shí)許多老年人也該洗耳恭聽，正是在他們少年時(shí)代沒讀過這樣的警句，才不時(shí)有了被騙的經(jīng)歷。</font></p> <p><font face="">　　“為愛而死”，在既往的時(shí)代以及今天都不斷被提倡著或發(fā)生著。一些人認(rèn)為這便是愛情的忠貞與執(zhí)著，甚至被一些人悲傷地贊頌著。陳一夫卻說：這是“一件絕對(duì)愚蠢的事情”。他認(rèn)為“為愛而死”是等于把自己“局限于人生某一時(shí)點(diǎn)上的某一情緒”而終結(jié)了自己漫長的生命。他甚至極端地認(rèn)為“為愛而死”，“無異于酒后駕駛”，傷于酒精的刺激。這樣深刻的認(rèn)識(shí)，以理性戰(zhàn)勝情感，以免濫情失控，走向毀滅。</font></p> <p><font face="">　　讀陳一夫給女兒的這些信，感到真誠、親切、新鮮，且有用。一句話，句句說的是人話。我想，這樣的思考和語言，會(huì)被女兒接受，影響她的一生。</font></p> <p><font face="">　　我推薦這本書給不會(huì)與子女溝通的父母；也給那些未得到父母指點(diǎn)的一切男女青少年。你們終會(huì)得到教益。即使已過了做父母年齡的老年人，不妨也讀讀，讓自己變得更年輕一些，更聰明一些。智慧可以延長人生。</font></p> <p><font face="">　　聽說陳一夫《爸爸的話是財(cái)富的船》已經(jīng)上了北京圖書大廈的排行榜。我很欣慰，說明和我一樣，許多讀者都是需要和喜歡這類書籍的。</font></p> <p><font face="">　　(《爸爸的話是財(cái)富的船》，陳一夫著，九州出版社2010年2月出版)</font></p> <p><a >http://www.chinawriter.com.cn/bk/2010-06-24/45143.html</a></p>  </div>  <p align='center'></p> <div id="fauedh7" class='articleTag'> <span style="font-weight:700;color:black;">相關(guān)博客：</span> <a href="/kcms/blog/lst?sys_types=%E7%88%B6%E6%AF%8D%E8%AF%BE%E5%A0%82&tp=blogs">父母課堂</a> <a href="/kcms/blog/bloglist?status=publish&u_id=528&user_types=%E7%88%B6%E6%AF%8D%E8%AF%BE%E5%A0%82">父母課堂</a> <div id="nmqinsq" class="clear"></div> <div id="lsddm3b" class="ainfo"> 閱讀次數(shù):<span id="rrcggsw" class="readtimes">68</span> 評(píng)論次數(shù):<span id="v0wfozd" class="commenttimes">1</span> 收藏次數(shù):<span id="zpclnqv" class="savedtimes">0</span> <div style="display:none;margin-top:1em;" 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