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-50px;"><img src='http://ajm-engineering.com/images/recommended.gif' title="該博客被推薦閱讀" /></div> <div id="1tbvnhd" class='articleTitle' style="text-align:center;"> <h2>婚姻是愛情的墳?zāi)箚幔?/h2> <span id="ft1zp7x" class='time'>(2011-07-27 01:24:28)</span> <span id="dbtlnz5" class='editit'><a href="/kcms/blog/blog?b_id=190221">[編輯]</a></span> </div> <div id="tdrjnlt" class='articleTag'> <span>分類：</span> <a href="/kcms/blog/lst?sys_types=%E7%9C%9F%E6%83%85%E4%BC%A0%E9%80%92&tp=blogs">真情傳遞</a> <a href="/kcms/blog/bloglist?status=publish&u_id=597&user_types=%E7%88%B1%E6%83%85%E3%80%81%E5%A9%9A%E5%A7%BB%E4%B8%8E%E5%AE%B6%E5%BA%AD">愛情、婚姻與家庭</a> <span>標(biāo)簽：</span> <a href="/kcms/search/index?q=%E7%88%B1%E6%83%85">愛情</a> <a href="/kcms/search/index?q=%E5%A9%9A%E5%A7%BB">婚姻</a> <a href="javascript:void(0);" onclick="kcms.saveit('blogs',190221);">【收藏該博客】</a> </div> <div id="l5dfvr7" class='articleContent'> <span style="color:#003399;font-size:medium;">婚姻是愛情的墳?zāi)箚幔?/span> <p><span style="font-size:18px;color:#003399;"> 要探索愛情與婚姻的關(guān)系，首先要探討愛情本身的要義。雖然關(guān)于“什么是愛情”這個問題在許多人看來是無解的，但古今中外的許多賢人哲士還是給予過智慧而深刻的答案。某些答案具有普遍意義，能夠跨越時空，跨越民族文化的界限。 </span></p> <p><span style="font-size:18px;color:#003399;"> 現(xiàn)代男女對愛情的一個最大誤解，恰恰是以為“墮入情網(wǎng)”便是愛情?！皦櫲肭榫W(wǎng)”的雙方，確實(shí)有酷似愛的強(qiáng)烈感覺，但那種感覺至多可稱做“浪漫激情”。仔細(xì)分析“墮入情網(wǎng)”的男男女女之感受，可以發(fā)現(xiàn)頗多的相似性。這是因?yàn)槔寺で橛袔讉€特點(diǎn)，對任何男女都不例外。第一，本能性；第二，主觀性；第三，虛幻性。 </span></p> <p><span style="font-size:18px;color:#003399;"> 正是浪漫激情的上述特點(diǎn)，使其脆弱與短暫。如果相愛雙方不能超越浪漫激情的幼稚狀態(tài)，努力學(xué)習(xí)和創(chuàng)造成熟的愛，領(lǐng)略愛的精神文化本質(zhì)，從而建立承諾感和自制力，那么這種浪漫激情必將迅速死亡，甚至等不到結(jié)婚就進(jìn)入了“墳?zāi)埂薄，F(xiàn)代男女的“閃婚”，當(dāng)屬此種情形。所謂“愛情”不堪一擊，就是某些生活在一起多年而后發(fā)生“婚外情”乃至離婚的夫妻，如果你去問他們當(dāng)初有過浪漫激情嗎，他們的回答多半也是肯定的。然而，浪漫激情在得不到升華與“加固”的情況下，總是無法堅(jiān)持長久，它的本能性、主觀性、虛幻性早晚導(dǎo)致其破滅。有人在“婚外情”中再度“墮入情網(wǎng)”，或者離婚之后重新去尋覓當(dāng)初那種浪漫激情，殊不知，“年年歲歲花相似”，重蹈覆轍者大有人在。 </span></p> <p><span style="font-size:18px;color:#003399;"> 至于婚姻，它理應(yīng)是成熟愛情的歸宿和護(hù)衛(wèi)者。如果兩個人相愛到接納、信賴、尊重、奉獻(xiàn)的程度，他們就必然渴望有一種社會與法定的形式來見證、護(hù)衛(wèi)、加固、發(fā)展與延續(xù)愛情，還要以雙方的性愛與情愛去創(chuàng)造和哺育新的生命。這是相愛雙方的對愛情達(dá)致完善和永久的期盼與努力。從相愛到結(jié)婚，是雙方人生的一個獨(dú)特里程碑。從此開始，愛情就被賦予了神圣的使命，這種使命既出于成熟男女的良知道義，也出于社會道德與文明規(guī)則。羅蘭女士這樣解釋從戀人之愛到夫妻之情：同船過渡便是緣份的信念，相互拯救度過一生一世的決心。的確，真正成熟而美滿的愛情要?dú)v經(jīng)雙方相識、相知、相愛、相伴、相守的漫長旅途，要體驗(yàn)友情、愛情、親情、恩情的豐富內(nèi)含，難道這不需要緣分的信念和拯救的決心嗎？這當(dāng)然不可與那種膚淺、脆弱、短暫的“墮入情網(wǎng)”體驗(yàn)和浪漫激情之歡同日而語。正如弗洛姆所言，愛情其實(shí)是與人格相伴隨的，如果一個人不積極地去發(fā)展優(yōu)良的人格品性，那么對愛情的追求將是徒勞的。人格品性展示的是人類精神世界的層面，它與物質(zhì)財(cái)富無關(guān)。而當(dāng)今許許多多原本強(qiáng)烈追求愛情的男女，卻把金錢、權(quán)力、榮譽(yù)、成功看得比愛情更重要，他們不惜代價去達(dá)到后面的目的，而不去解讀愛情本身的要義，不去問津愛的知識與藝術(shù)，所以常常是南轅北轍，事與愿違。那些宣布“只要愛情，不要婚姻”的男女，其實(shí)也并未獲得真正的愛情，不過是陶醉了一陣來得容易去得快的浪漫激情而已；而那些嘆息“婚姻是愛情的墳?zāi)埂钡娜藗?，永遠(yuǎn)也無法知曉愛情的“天堂”何在，其結(jié)果可能是愛情與婚姻俱毀。 </span></p> <p><span style="font-size:18px;color:#003399;"> 愛情是婚姻的出發(fā)點(diǎn)，婚姻是愛情的歸宿；沒有愛情的婚姻是孤寂、空洞和不幸的；而沒有婚姻的愛情則是飄忽的、盲目的、不安全的、脆弱的；愛情與婚姻的和諧統(tǒng)一，既是雙方人格發(fā)展的崇高境界，又是人生最幸福、最完美的境界。而愛情與婚姻的和諧統(tǒng)一，需要相愛雙方共同的知識、智慧、勇氣和決心，甚至要窮盡畢生的努力。(zt) </span></p> <p><span style="font-size:18px;color:#003399;">崔偉華轉(zhuǎn)自：<a ><span style="font-size:x-small;">http://user.qzone.qq.com/148048569/blog/1311657665</span></a></span></p>  </div>  <p align='center'></p> <div id="dbdldzj" class='articleTag'> <span style="font-weight:700;color:black;">相關(guān)博客：</span> <a href="/kcms/blog/lst?sys_types=%E7%9C%9F%E6%83%85%E4%BC%A0%E9%80%92&tp=blogs">真情傳遞</a> <a href="/kcms/blog/bloglist?status=publish&u_id=597&user_types=%E7%88%B1%E6%83%85%E3%80%81%E5%A9%9A%E5%A7%BB%E4%B8%8E%E5%AE%B6%E5%BA%AD">愛情、婚姻與家庭</a> <a href="/kcms/search/index?q=%E7%88%B1%E6%83%85">愛情</a> <a href="/kcms/search/index?q=%E5%A9%9A%E5%A7%BB">婚姻</a> <div id="9r7znnx" class="clear"></div> <div id="tv9lt7d" class="ainfo"> 閱讀次數(shù):<span id="9zntjjf" class="readtimes">555</span> 評論次數(shù):<span 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