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id="c259424419181">loading...</div> <div data-w2p_remote="/kcms/components/sidebar_flash?u_id=45777" id="c792161428288">loading...</div> <div data-w2p_remote="/kcms/components/recomments?u_id=45777" id="c944944496869">loading...</div> <div data-w2p_remote="/kcms/components/sidebar_links?u_id=45777" id="c73729676695">loading...</div> </div> <div id="nrldqhr" class="sep"> </div> <div id="k8yhjbp" class='column2'> <div id="qebgqjk" class='conn'> <div id="4jctuvz" class='connhead columntitle'> <span id="u3gmenq" class='title'>正文</span> </div> <div id="cbn7kgk" class='connbody blockedage'> <div style="text-align: center;"> </div> <div style='padding-top:15px;padding-left:15px;'> <p> </p><p> </p><p style="color:#FFFFFF;font-family:宋體, sans-serif;font-size:14px;"> <span style="color:#E56600;"> 家庭教育是專業(yè)的，可以提升我們育人素養(yǎng)</span> </p> <p style="color:#FFFFFF;font-family:宋體, sans-serif;font-size:14px;"> <span style="color:#E56600;"> 家庭教育是樸素的，可以服務(wù)于每一位家長(zhǎng)；</span> </p> <p style="color:#FFFFFF;font-family:宋體, sans-serif;font-size:14px;"> <span style="color:#E56600;"> 家庭教育是實(shí)用的，可以解決身邊具體問題；</span> </p> <p style="color:#FFFFFF;font-family:宋體, sans-serif;font-size:14px;"> <span style="color:#E56600;"> 家庭教育是科學(xué)的，可以改變我們生存現(xiàn)狀。</span> </p> <p style="color:#FFFFFF;font-family:宋體, sans-serif;font-size:14px;"> <span style="color:#E56600;">　　　　　　　　 </span><span style="color:#E56600;">——顧曉鳴</span> </p> <p> <br /> </p> </div> <div id="qwzpxuy" class='article 1'> <div style="position: absolute; left: 20px; top: -50px;"><img src='http://ajm-engineering.com/images/recommended.gif' title="該博客被推薦閱讀" /></div> <div id="g2i53v1" class='articleTitle' style="text-align:center;"> <h2>新時(shí)代，我們?cè)撛鯓訍酆⒆?/h2> <span id="z3abj43" class='time'>(2014-09-06 11:29:24)</span> <span id="11umuql" class='editit'><a href="/kcms/blog/blog?b_id=260221">[編輯]</a></span> </div> <div id="fkyn13g" class='articleTag'> <span>分類：</span> <a href="/kcms/blog/lst?sys_types=%E7%88%B6%E6%AF%8D%E8%AF%BE%E5%A0%82&tp=blogs">父母課堂</a> <a href="/kcms/blog/bloglist?status=publish&u_id=45777&user_types=%E7%88%B6%E6%AF%8D%E8%AF%BE%E5%A0%82">父母課堂</a> <span>標(biāo)簽：</span> <a href="/kcms/search/index?q=%E6%96%B0%E6%97%B6%E4%BB%A3">新時(shí)代</a> <a href="/kcms/search/index?q=%E7%88%B1%E5%AD%A9%E5%AD%90">愛孩子</a> <a href="/kcms/search/index?q=%E6%94%BE%E6%89%8B">放手</a> <a href="/kcms/search/index?q=%E5%AE%9E%E8%B7%B5">實(shí)踐</a> <a href="javascript:void(0);" onclick="kcms.saveit('blogs',260221);">【收藏該博客】</a> </div> <div id="aytra51" class='articleContent'> <p align="center"> 新時(shí)代，我們?cè)撛鯓訍酆⒆? </p> <p align="center"> 文/趙云紅 </p> 無意間看到這樣一則新聞:長(zhǎng)沙一名29歲男子，因不滿父母將其趕出家門，欲尋求法律援助，狀告父母不養(yǎng)，又一個(gè)令人痛心的案例出現(xiàn)在公眾面前。<br /> 29歲，而立之年，本該成家立業(yè)，自挑門戶了，卻還需要父母養(yǎng)，這是為什么？當(dāng)記者提出這樣的疑問時(shí)，他給出的理由是：我沒能力，父母有能力，何樂而不為呢？他們?yōu)槭裁淳筒荒莛B(yǎng)我？面對(duì)這樣的回答，我們是該譴責(zé)該男子的不負(fù)責(zé)任，還是可憐其父母辛苦的付出卻得到這樣的回報(bào)？<br /> 據(jù)了解，我國有65%以上的家庭“老養(yǎng)小”，有30%左右的成年人依靠父母為其支出部分甚至全部生活費(fèi)。這樣一個(gè)數(shù)據(jù)告訴我們，“啃老”正在成為一種時(shí)尚，越來越多的年輕人放棄自我奮斗，心安理得地依賴父母生活，“養(yǎng)兒防老”即將成為歷史。面對(duì)被“啃老”，我相信大多數(shù)父母很無耐，也很后悔自己當(dāng)初對(duì)孩子實(shí)施了錯(cuò)誤的家庭教育，才釀成這樣的后果。那么，在物質(zhì)條件越來越好的當(dāng)下，我們?cè)撛鯓訍圩约旱暮⒆樱拍茏屗麄儗W(xué)會(huì)自立自強(qiáng)，自信地走上社會(huì)，開創(chuàng)自己的美好生活呢？<br /> 首先，要解放思想。家長(zhǎng)要在思想上有正確的認(rèn)識(shí)，并不是什么都不讓孩子做就是愛孩子。<br /> “實(shí)踐經(jīng)驗(yàn)”這個(gè)詞我們并不陌生，一個(gè)人的能力就是實(shí)踐經(jīng)驗(yàn)的體現(xiàn)，也就是說，能力并不是與生俱來的，只有動(dòng)手去做，才會(huì)慢慢積累。可看看現(xiàn)在的我們，把孩子當(dāng)個(gè)寶似的，捧在手里怕摔了，含在嘴里怕化了，每天過著衣來伸手，飯來張口的日子，能力從何而來？也許你會(huì)想，不是說“再苦不能苦孩子”嗎，我們有能力這樣做，何樂而不為呢？那我想問問有這種想法的家長(zhǎng)，你們這樣的能力從何而來？難道不是一點(diǎn)一滴做出來的嗎？我們的孩子是不是也該有這樣的機(jī)會(huì)才能在日積月累中獲得能力，并把這種能力一代一代傳下去，才能讓我們的子孫一代比一代強(qiáng)呢？<br /> 第二，要尊重孩子的選擇，給孩子體驗(yàn)生活的權(quán)利。孩子沒有我們想象的脆弱，給他們機(jī)會(huì)，他們會(huì)證明給你看。<br /> 兒子小升初考上了兩所中學(xué)，一所是普通學(xué)校，離家較近，還可以住校，另一所離家遠(yuǎn)還得走讀，卻是很多家長(zhǎng)夢(mèng)寐以求的好學(xué)校，當(dāng)然也是兒子向往的學(xué)校。當(dāng)時(shí)的我傾向于讓兒子住校，理由是走讀太辛苦，路上耽誤的時(shí)間太多，學(xué)習(xí)壓力會(huì)增加很多，而兒子卻堅(jiān)持要上那所好學(xué)校，最終我們支持了他的選擇。開學(xué)不久后，問題出現(xiàn)了，他開始抱怨上學(xué)的辛苦，每天期待著爸爸能接送他，如果不能，就老大不高興。后來，在我們的耐心鼓勵(lì)和陪伴下，他逐漸理解了爸爸的辛苦，也慢慢適應(yīng)了早起晚歸的學(xué)習(xí)生活。這件事讓我意識(shí)到，孩子比我們想象的要堅(jiān)強(qiáng)得多，面對(duì)困難有退縮很正常，只要家長(zhǎng)多鼓勵(lì)，多支持，他們都是好樣的。<br /> 家長(zhǎng)給孩子創(chuàng)造良好的物質(zhì)條件沒錯(cuò)，但不能以太辛苦為由剝奪孩子體驗(yàn)生活的權(quán)利，沒有人能代替孩子成長(zhǎng)，小時(shí)替代得越多，大時(shí)將迎來無盡的苦果。<br /> 第三，要學(xué)會(huì)放手。放手不是放棄，也不是逃避，而是一種智慧，抓住該抓的，放下該放的。<br /> 曾經(jīng)我一直認(rèn)為自己在家里的作用是無可替代的，如果沒有我，一家人的生活必定一團(tuán)糟，所以我放棄了自己所有的業(yè)余時(shí)間，盡心盡力地照顧家里的每一個(gè)人，而他們也對(duì)我有了很強(qiáng)的依賴，我雖然很累，卻以為這樣才是我們正常的生活。半年前，爸爸去世了，我在老家陪媽媽住了二十多天，在回來的路上，我想象著家里該會(huì)亂成什么樣子，肯定不堪入目。然而，當(dāng)我跨進(jìn)家門的那一刻，我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己錯(cuò)了，老公把家里打理得井井有條，更沒有人因?yàn)槲也辉诙I瘦了，我突然覺得自己以前的想法是多么可笑，原來，放手是那么容易，帶來的效果是那么出人意料。<br /> 猶太思想家朱特比說：“讓孩子自己的事自己解決，如果父母過分呵護(hù)孩子，反而使孩子失去自信心。這樣的孩子長(zhǎng)大以后絕對(duì)沒有獨(dú)立的人格，更不可能有出色的成就?！边@句話被猶太家長(zhǎng)珍藏在愛子教科書中。而猶太名人馬克思也曾說：“人要學(xué)會(huì)走路，也要學(xué)會(huì)摔跤，而且只有經(jīng)過摔跤，他才能學(xué)會(huì)走路?！彼裕诖蠹叶颊J(rèn)為競(jìng)爭(zhēng)激烈的今天，我們是不是該學(xué)會(huì)放手，讓孩子在實(shí)踐中積累競(jìng)爭(zhēng)的資本，而不是把目光僅僅放在學(xué)校的書本上？<br /> 這個(gè)世界上所有的愛都以聚合為最終目的，只有一種愛是以分離為目的的，那就是父母對(duì)孩子的愛。父母真正成功的愛，就是讓孩子盡早作為一個(gè)獨(dú)立的個(gè)體從我們的生命中分離出去，以他獨(dú)立的人格，面對(duì)他的世界。<br /> 所以我要說，作為家長(zhǎng)，學(xué)會(huì)讓孩子該成長(zhǎng)的時(shí)候成長(zhǎng)，該獨(dú)立的時(shí)候獨(dú)立，學(xué)會(huì)該放手的時(shí)候放手，才是對(duì)孩子最好的愛！不要什么都替孩子想到，連犯錯(cuò)誤的機(jī)會(huì)都不給孩子，否則，終有一天，該犯的錯(cuò)誤都會(huì)集中放大，返還給父母，成為父母自釀的苦酒。<br />  </div>  <p align='center'></p> <div id="oi8ljs8" class='articleTag'> <span style="font-weight:700;color:black;">相關(guān)博客：</span> <a href="/kcms/blog/lst?sys_types=%E7%88%B6%E6%AF%8D%E8%AF%BE%E5%A0%82&tp=blogs">父母課堂</a> <a 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