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style="height:10px;"></div> </div> <div id="ugg9pfa" class='connfooter blockfooter'> </div> </div> </div> <div data-w2p_remote="/kcms/components/sidebar_newcomments?u_id=239" id="c857579543257">loading...</div> <div data-w2p_remote="/kcms/components/sidebar_friends?u_id=239" id="c449296151841">loading...</div> <div data-w2p_remote="/kcms/components/sidebar_flash?u_id=239" id="c385651634233">loading...</div> <div data-w2p_remote="/kcms/components/recomments?u_id=239" id="c86756685051">loading...</div> <div data-w2p_remote="/kcms/components/sidebar_links?u_id=239" id="c0384809602937">loading...</div> </div> <div id="gtmbwd4" class="sep"> </div> <div id="p09d41n" class='column2'> <div id="wizr3ww" class='conn'> <div id="r5v4q0b" class='connhead columntitle'> <span id="c83yxi4" class='title'>正文</span> </div> <div id="imwrltf" class='connbody blockedage'> <div style="text-align: center;"> </div> <div id="bv8ppgs" class='article F'> <div id="gsc9wfw" class='articleTitle' style="text-align:center;"> <h2>如何跟孩子談?wù)撍劳?/h2> <span id="thizeir" class='time'>(2009-08-29 08:38:00)</span> <span id="7y3jwoz" class='editit'><a href="/kcms/blog/blog?b_id=117801">[編輯]</a></span> </div> <div id="nfnnkle" class='articleTag'> <span>分類：</span> <a href="/kcms/blog/lst?sys_types=%E6%97%A9%E6%9C%9F%E6%95%99%E8%82%B2&tp=blogs">早期教育</a> <a href="/kcms/blog/bloglist?status=publish&u_id=239&user_types=%EF%BC%88B%E7%B1%BB%EF%BC%89%E7%88%B6%E6%AF%8D%E8%83%BD%E5%8A%9B%E6%8F%90%E5%8D%87">（B類）父母能力提升</a> <span>標(biāo)簽：</span> <a href="/kcms/search/index?q=%E6%97%A9%E6%9C%9F%E6%95%99%E8%82%B2">早期教育</a> <a href="javascript:void(0);" onclick="kcms.saveit('blogs',117801);">【收藏該博客】</a> </div> <div id="0sula2r" class='articleContent'> <p><font size="3"> <font color="#000000">清明節(jié)就要到了，這個(gè)時(shí)間段里，每個(gè)</font></font><a class="cmsLink" target="_blank"><font color="#000000" size="3">家庭</font></a><font color="#000000" size="3">或多或少地都會碰到與“死亡”有關(guān)的話題，也許恰好您的</font><a class="cmsLink" target="_blank"><font color="#000000" size="3">孩子</font></a><font color="#000000" size="3">就會問這個(gè)連大人也諱莫如深的問題。您，會如何回答孩子呢?</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" size="3"> 跟孩子談?wù)撍劳?，談些什?如何談?其實(shí)，就是在問為人</font><a class="cmsLink" target="_blank"><font color="#000000" size="3">父母</font></a><font color="#000000" size="3">者：“你是怎么看待死亡的?”所以，大人的態(tài)度和認(rèn)知非常重要，并且也需要學(xué)習(xí)一些正確的方法和技巧。</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" size="3"> 首先在態(tài)度方面，面對孩子時(shí)不要驚慌失措，或慌不擇言地應(yīng)對，或一味地回避，可嚴(yán)厲地斥責(zé)，都不可取，死亡是孩子在成長過程中必須學(xué)習(xí)的一個(gè)知識點(diǎn)，否認(rèn)或逃避只會增加“死亡”的神秘感，引起孩子不恰當(dāng)?shù)南胂?。只有?dāng)孩子正確地理解了死亡之后，才能尊重生命。</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" size="3"> 另外，要避免將兩種極端的態(tài)度傳達(dá)給孩子，一種是對死亡的極度恐懼，一種是不用怕死。</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" size="3"> 其次，在談話的方式上，最基本的一點(diǎn)，一般情況下不要無緣無故地突然跟孩子談?wù)撍劳?，只有?dāng)孩子有疑問或遇到恰當(dāng)?shù)臅r(shí)機(jī)時(shí)才可以提及。針對不同年齡段的孩子，運(yùn)用的方式也會不同。</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" size="3"> 在</font><a class="cmsLink" target="_blank"><font color="#000000" size="3">早期教育</font></a><font color="#000000" size="3">中，3歲以下的孩子，思維局限于他能看得到和觸摸得到的東西，離開了這個(gè)范圍，他就不會再關(guān)注了。因此，最好的方式是告訴他“這個(gè)人或者小狗狗不見了”，因?yàn)檫@個(gè)年齡段的孩子對生死感觸不深，很難明白什么是死亡?？梢源虮确降卣f，有些人，或者小狗狗，有一天他(它)就像汽車一樣，開走了，消失了，不再回到家里來，以后再也見不到他(它)了。只要轉(zhuǎn)移了孩子的注意力就可以了。</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" size="3"> 3-6歲的孩子，如果問到關(guān)于死亡的問題了，家長一定避免含糊不清和欺騙性的回答，比如“他走了”，“他去了很遠(yuǎn)很遠(yuǎn)的地方”等等。因?yàn)檫@個(gè)年齡段的孩子已經(jīng)知道，物體是永遠(yuǎn)存在的，離開了還會回來，不會主動地意識到死亡是一個(gè)生命的終結(jié)，是完全的消失，所以這樣的回答只會讓他更加焦慮，增加留戀感，期待著死去的人還能回來。</font></p> <p><strong><font color="#000000" size="3"> 正確的方法有：</font></strong></p> <p><font color="#000000" size="3">　　1.、問孩子</font><a class="cmsLink" target="_blank"><font color="#000000" size="3">為什么</font></a><font color="#000000" size="3">會問這個(gè)問題?留意孩子問問題時(shí)的</font><a class="cmsLink" target="_blank"><font color="#000000" size="3">情緒</font></a><font color="#000000" size="3">，是否發(fā)生了什么事情。判斷孩子通過這樣的問題究竟想知道什么，滿足了孩子想知道的就可以結(jié)束談話，不要再繼續(xù)長篇大論地大談特談。比如，“你的想法呢?”、“你認(rèn)為人死了會去哪里呢?”</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" size="3">　　2.、正確地解釋死亡的概念。比如死亡是不可避免的，每個(gè)人都必須經(jīng)歷;死亡是一個(gè)永遠(yuǎn)無法改變的事實(shí)，死了的人不能復(fù)生;死亡是一切身體活動的停止，平靜地描述死亡的狀態(tài)，如心跳停止、不會呼吸、不會說話走路、樣子像睡著了，不會再醒過來等等;死亡會因?yàn)槟昀?、生病或意外引起?/font></p> <p><font color="#000000" size="3">　　3.、處理孩子的情緒問題。孩子除了因?yàn)槲粗鴮λ劳霰旧懋a(chǎn)生害怕、恐懼外，3-6歲年齡段的孩子主要還會有擔(dān)心與家人分離的焦慮感，不要否定孩子的感覺?？梢灾鲃优c孩子分享自己對死亡的感受，比如說：“面臨死亡，我也會感到害怕和擔(dān)心，害怕……，擔(dān)心……”，要講清楚具體害怕或擔(dān)心的內(nèi)容是什么，讓孩子知道情緒背后的意義，這樣可以讓孩子了解他的情緒反應(yīng)是正常和可以接受的。</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" size="3"> 4.、挑選適當(dāng)?shù)臅r(shí)機(jī)：當(dāng)孩子主動提及時(shí);有家人或親友、鄰居過世時(shí);家中養(yǎng)的植物或動物死去時(shí);日常</font><a class="cmsLink" target="_blank"><font color="#000000" size="3">生活</font></a><font color="#000000" size="3">里，看電視、電影、</font><a class="cmsLink" target="_blank"><font color="#000000" size="3">卡通</font></a><font color="#000000" size="3">書或偶爾遇到現(xiàn)場或出殯的情形時(shí)。特別是在家中養(yǎng)的花花草草或小貓小狗死亡時(shí)，為它們舉行一個(gè)安葬儀式，通過可操作的形象的、可控制的方式，將孩子內(nèi)心的傷痛、恐懼外化，來降低情緒的強(qiáng)度。</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" size="3">　　5、如果在家長自己還處于悲痛情緒，無法談?wù)撨@個(gè)問題時(shí)，應(yīng)特別注意，不妨對孩子如實(shí)說：“我現(xiàn)在還不能談，等我可以談的時(shí)候再談，好嗎?”。如果孩子以后不再提及，不了了之了，家長也就沒有必要再提及。</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" size="3"> 6.、注意一個(gè)特殊的問題，當(dāng)孩子問到：“媽媽(爸爸或其他親人)，你會死嗎?”時(shí)，如果家長直接答說“會”，將使孩子誤以為近期就會發(fā)生。因?yàn)楹⒆訉r(shí)間的概念還不成形，所以在回答該問題時(shí)務(wù)必加上“要很老很老很老才會死”。通過多次強(qiáng)調(diào)“很老”這個(gè)字眼，使孩子覺得時(shí)間還很長，不會因?yàn)樗挠H人受到死亡威脅而不安。</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" size="3">　　7.、</font><a class="cmsLink" target="_blank"><font color="#000000" size="3">隔代教育</font></a><font color="#000000" size="3">的家庭中，父母親需要注意，有的老人思想觀念陳舊，用鬼神來嚇唬不聽話的孩子，容易使孩子經(jīng)常處于恐懼的情緒中。中國人喜歡說：“你真氣死我了”，“你不吃飯我就打死你”之類的話，如果恰好老人的去世與說這些話的時(shí)間相去不遠(yuǎn)，容易使孩子誤以為自己對老人的去世負(fù)有很大責(zé)任，產(chǎn)生心理陰影。另外，老人的死對孩子的打擊會比較大，會讓孩子產(chǎn)生失去依靠的恐懼。</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" size="3">　　最后，送給廣大的家長朋友們一句話，就是兒童教育學(xué)家羅夫斯在《與孩子談死亡》一書中所講的：“如果孩子能在開誠布公談?wù)撍劳龅沫h(huán)境下長大，那么他對死亡會有較好的理解，不至于太害怕。”</font></p> <p><font color="#000000" size="3">　　廣州心靈之旅心理咨詢中心李永華</font></p>  </div>  <p align='center'></p> <div id="u6ngwlg" class='articleTag'> <span style="font-weight:700;color:black;">相關(guān)博客：</span> <a href="/kcms/blog/lst?sys_types=%E6%97%A9%E6%9C%9F%E6%95%99%E8%82%B2&tp=blogs">早期教育</a> <a href="/kcms/blog/bloglist?status=publish&u_id=239&user_types=%EF%BC%88B%E7%B1%BB%EF%BC%89%E7%88%B6%E6%AF%8D%E8%83%BD%E5%8A%9B%E6%8F%90%E5%8D%87">（B類）父母能力提升</a> <a href="/kcms/search/index?q=%E6%97%A9%E6%9C%9F%E6%95%99%E8%82%B2">早期教育</a> <div id="afxgisl" class="clear"></div> <div id="zo9chab" class="ainfo"> 閱讀次數(shù):<span id="i41brrr" class="readtimes">128</span> 評論次數(shù):<span id="gkmuhaj" class="commenttimes">0</span> 收藏次數(shù):<span id="xtlbyy4" class="savedtimes">0</span> <div style="display:none;margin-top:1em;" id="showblogsetup"> <a href="javascript:void(0)" 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