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style="text-align:center;"> <h2>家長要善于把孩子引入學習的最高境界（陳應?。?/h2> <span id="n4qtavd" class='time'>(2010-07-18 01:50:00)</span> <span id="vc5hsfs" class='editit'><a href="/kcms/blog/blog?b_id=119208">[編輯]</a></span> </div> <div id="jf4rkfh" class='articleTag'> <span>分類：</span> <a href="/kcms/blog/lst?sys_types=%E8%83%BD%E5%8A%9B%E6%8F%90%E5%8D%87&tp=blogs">能力提升</a> <a href="/kcms/blog/bloglist?status=publish&u_id=239&user_types=%EF%BC%88D%E7%B1%BB%EF%BC%89%E5%AE%B6%E5%BA%AD%E6%95%99%E8%82%B2%E8%AE%B2%E5%BA%A7">（D類）家庭教育講座</a> <a href="javascript:void(0);" onclick="kcms.saveit('blogs',119208);">【收藏該博客】</a> </div> <div id="lqrkpun" class='articleContent'> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><font size="4">[</font></span></b><font size="4"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">內容概要<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">]</span></span></b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">本文作者有<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">20</span>多年的學歷學習經(jīng)歷，在長期從事教育教學及其管理工作的同時，十分重視家庭教育。本文中，作者首先在積多年觀察思考和經(jīng)驗的基礎上，第一次提出了學習有四種境界，進而說明“要學我”是學習的最高境界；然后，從認識體驗、學習目標、學習方法、學習表現(xiàn)和習慣、對待學習結果的態(tài)度等方面闡述了“要學我”這一最高學習境界的主要特征；最后，作者從培養(yǎng)學習精神、學習興趣、學習能力，學會心理調節(jié)和自我學習評價等五個方面有理有據(jù)地論述了家長把孩子引入最高學習境界的方法。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><?xml version='1.0' encoding='utf-8'?><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">主題詞：</span></b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">家長孩子學習境界<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><o:p><font size="4"> </font></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span lang="EN-US" style="DISPLAY: none; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hide: all"><o:p><font size="4"> </font></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span lang="EN-US" style="DISPLAY: none; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hide: all"><o:p><font size="4"> </font></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><font size="4">學習是人類從閱讀、聽講、研究、實踐中獲得知識或技能的活動。學習境界則是指人們從事學習活動時所達到的程度，所表現(xiàn)的情況（如精神狀態(tài)等）。本文擬就學習的四種境界、最高學習境界的主要特征、影響孩子進入更高學習境界的主要原因，家長把孩子引入更高學習境界的方法等作些探討，敬請專家、學者和家長們批評指正。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">1.</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">孩子的學習境界有高下不一的五種<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">1.1</span></b><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">“我要學”。</span></b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">這群孩子把學習作為自身的需要，學習積極主動，有持久力，學習效果通常較好?！?span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">1.2</span></b><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">“要我學”。</span></b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">這類孩子的學習是家長逼出來的，而不是他們自身的要求。在這種境界下，學習者被動應付，得過且過，不思進取。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">1.3</span></b><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">我學，要——”</span></b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">其實就是“買我學”。這些孩子是學習的雇傭者，而不是學習的主人，他們往往在學習行動、學習時間、學習目標上與家長討價還價。家長給多少獎，就出多少勁；沒有獎勵就放棄。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">1.4</span></b><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">我厭學。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">1.5</span></b><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">“要學我”。</span></b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">這種孩子勇于做學習的榜樣，是學習的真正主人。他們在學習的興趣、動機、目標、方法、習慣和對待學習的結果等方面都值得其他孩子學習。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><font size="4">孩子們的學習境界共有這樣五種： <span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">1. </span>“我要學”，<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">2. </span>“要我學”，<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">3.</span>“買我學”，<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">4.</span>“我厭學”，<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">5</span>“要學我” 。在這五種學習境界中，孩子的學習狀態(tài)分別為主動的、被動的、雇傭的、拒絕的、最佳的。我們不難看出這五種境界的高下：<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">43215 </span>，“要學我”是學習的最高境界。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">2. </span></b><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">“要學我”學習境界的主要特征<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">2.1</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">在認識體驗上，“要學我”者把學習看成與每天要吃飯一樣重要和必不可少，當作伴隨一生的要事、樂事，作為不斷塑造自我、完善自我、貢獻社會的前提條件。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">2.2</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">在學習目標上，“要學我”者既不好高務遠，也不妄自菲薄。他們能根據(jù)自身綜合條件，設計一個“跳一跳，夠得到”的總體目標，并在此基礎上設計若干個階段性目標，以求穩(wěn)步推進，讓自己不斷享受成功之樂的同時，激起更強的信心邁向下一個目標。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">2.3 </span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">在學習方法上，“要學我”者有行之有效的一套。他們聯(lián)系實際學，打破沙鍋問，提綱挈領記，面紅耳赤爭。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">2.4</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">在學習表現(xiàn)上，“要學我”者有良好的習慣。他們在學習中仔細看，專心聽，詳細記，積極想，主動問，眼耳手口腦“五到”。他們還有“四先四后”的學習習慣，即“先預習，后聽課；先思考，后提問；先看書，后作業(yè)；先復習，后考試”。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">2.5</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">在對待學習的結果上，“要學我”者既重視又超脫。作業(yè)有錯，及時訂正；考試有誤，仔細尋根，查漏補缺，基礎打穩(wěn)；成績進步不沾沾自喜，放松努力；盡了努力就是一流，盡管成績不在前頭；稍有閃失也不失志，哪怕是關鍵性的考試。他們認為，“天生我才必有用”、“條條大路通羅馬”；他們更認為，學習是一生的事，暫時的失敗孕育著將來更大更多的成功。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">3.</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">孩子學習境界不佳的主要原因在家長<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><font size="4">孩子的學習境界有如此差別，原因是多方面的，但主要的原因無疑是在家長方面。主要由于家長的因素，使不少孩子的學習局限在 “我厭學”、“買我學”和 “要我學”的低境界內，而沒能達到“我要學”，甚至“要學我”的更高境界。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">3.1</span></b><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">家長的認識影響了孩子<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><?xml version='1.0' encoding='utf-8'?><st1:chsdate w:st="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="30" month="12" year="1899"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">3.1.1</span></st1:chsdate><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">家長認為自己歲數(shù)大了，不用學也學不了；不懂得學習是終身的事，人只有自己要學、會學、不斷學，才能跟上知識爆炸、瞬息萬變的時代。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><st1:chsdate w:st="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="30" month="12" year="1899"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">3.1.2</span></st1:chsdate><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">家長把孩子當作私有財產(chǎn)，把孩子有好成績作為自己學習不足的補償，或炫耀自己的本錢；不知道孩子才是自己學習和一生命運的主人，是國家民族的未來。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><st1:chsdate w:st="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="30" month="12" year="1899"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">3.1.3</span></st1:chsdate><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">家長不懂得學習的目的在于為人類創(chuàng)造，創(chuàng)造要有知識基礎，更要要有主動性和激情。而雇傭和看護式的學習，不僅扼殺了孩子今天學習的主動性和激情，而且也扼殺了孩子明天創(chuàng)造的主動性和激情。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><st1:chsdate w:st="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="30" month="12" year="1899"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">3.1.4</span></st1:chsdate><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">家長以為金錢可以買到一切，物質可以刺激孩子不斷學習。這樣的觀念必定影響到家長自己的學習和對孩子學習的引導、管理。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd; mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">3.2</span></b><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">家長的行動影響了孩子<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><st1:chsdate w:st="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="30" month="12" year="1899"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">3.2.1</span></st1:chsdate><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">自己不學習，經(jīng)常喝酒、打牌、玩游戲，給孩子放了不好的樣子。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><st1:chsdate w:st="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="30" month="12" year="1899"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">3.2.2</span></st1:chsdate><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">陪而不讀，整天嘮叨，使孩子厭惡反感。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><st1:chsdate w:st="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="30" month="12" year="1899"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">3.2.3</span></st1:chsdate><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"> </span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">只盯著孩子的分數(shù)，不與孩子交流，不知道孩子在想什么，有什么困難和疑惑，更沒有相應的指導，有了問題只是呵斥打罵。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">3.3</span></b><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">家長對孩子學習的要求過高<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><st1:chsdate w:st="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="30" month="12" year="1899"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">3.3.1</span></st1:chsdate><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">學習時間上要求太高。恨不得孩子“兩耳不聞窗外事”，整天坐在那兒學習；不知道孩子還需要很好地活動和休息，在生理或心理疲勞的情況下，誰也學不進去。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><st1:chsdate w:st="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="30" month="12" year="1899"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">3.3.2</span></st1:chsdate><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">學習目標上要求太高。恨不得孩子每次每門學科的考試都得滿分或都得第一，而不是根據(jù)自己孩子的綜合情況引導孩子制訂一個“跳一跳，夠得到”的學習目標。不知道長期享受不到成功的快樂，就會摧毀孩子的自信；失去自信，孩子就不可能有好的學習狀態(tài)。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">3.4</span></b><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">家長對孩子學習的管理方法不當<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><st1:chsdate w:st="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="30" month="12" year="1899"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">3.4.1</span></st1:chsdate><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">用盯人戰(zhàn)術，看住孩子學習。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><st1:chsdate w:st="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="30" month="12" year="1899"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">3.4.2</span></st1:chsdate><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">完全隨著孩子，不加任何管理。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><st1:chsdate w:st="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="30" month="12" year="1899"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">3.4.3</span></st1:chsdate><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">拿錢物獎勵孩子的進步，哄著孩子學習，而不懂也不會培養(yǎng)孩子的學習興趣和動機，激發(fā)孩子的學習熱情，強化孩子學習的內驅力。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">4.</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">家長要善于把孩子引入更高的學習境界<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><font size="4">引導孩子學習，社會和學校當然能做好多事，但是，家長必須而且能夠做得更早更多。那么，家長如何把孩子引入學習的更高乃至最高境界呢？<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">4.1</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">放好樣子，培養(yǎng)孩子的學習精神。榜樣的力量是無窮的。父母不僅是孩子的第一任老師，而且是孩子最早的影響力最大的榜樣。蔡和森、蔡暢的媽媽葛健豪，也是李富春的岳母、向警予的婆婆，為了鼓勵兒女學習，<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">1913</span>年已<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">48</span>歲的她還毅然投考湖南女子教育養(yǎng)習所。學校見她年紀大不給報名，她一直告到縣衙，縣官批了“奇志可嘉”四個字，才被破格錄取。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">1919</span>年<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">54</span>歲時，她還和兒女們一起遠涉重洋赴法國勤工儉學。<sup><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">[1]</span></sup>她的學習精神不僅鼓舞了她的兒女晚輩，而且也為我們樹立了光輝的榜樣。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">4.2</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">循循善誘，培養(yǎng)孩子的學習興趣?！芭d趣是最好的老師”。培養(yǎng)興趣，家長要根據(jù)不同孩子和不同年齡段進行。幼兒數(shù)鳥窩、看螞蟻能培養(yǎng)其注意力和觀察力，隨著年齡的增長，家長就要把這興趣往深處引：什么鳥？什么顏色？什么季節(jié)？做窩干什么？螞蟻在往哪兒搬家？為什么搬家？如此等等。也許長此以往就能把孩子引入物候學的領域。再如，一般孩子都喜歡聽故事，家長就可以逐步啟發(fā)孩子：“聽別人講故事多不方便，要是認識字自己能讀書就好了！”從而激發(fā)孩子認字的興趣；等到孩子能寫文章了，就激勵他“能自己寫故事那就更棒了！”寫出故事以后，給他指點，幫他發(fā)表。如此這般，也許就能把孩子逐步引進文學的殿堂。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><font size="4">再大點的時候，家長就要把孩子的學習興趣往動機、理想方面牽引了。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">4.3</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">綜合平衡，培養(yǎng)孩子的學習能力。學習的能力主要包括注意力、觀察力、記憶力、思維力、想象力、表達操作力等。木桶理論告訴我們，有多塊木板箍成的木桶，它裝水的多少取決于那塊最短的木板。假如上面所說的那些能力就是知識木桶上的一塊塊木板，那么，孩子掌握知識的多少就取決于那個最差的學習能力了。我有一個親戚的孩子，今年該考大學了。她學習勤奮認真，多數(shù)功課成績不錯，但物理成績上不去。去年夏天，我還找了一個重點中學的把關老師幫她補課，結果收效也不大。后來，我才了解到，她至今東南西北有時都分不清，而學習物理是必須有空間思維和想象能力的，這靠補幾天課有什么用呢！因此，家長要注意發(fā)現(xiàn)孩子的能力“短腿”，并善于培長培強，以求有比較平衡的學習能力去攫取更多的知識。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">4.4</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">波瀾不驚，幫助孩子學會心理調節(jié)。學習是一生的事，但人生在青少年時期的學習任務相對集中和繁重些，而且，學習的成績很大程度上要影響將來的從業(yè)和收入，青少年尚處在心理走向成熟的階段，如此的壓力，不少孩子承受不了。現(xiàn)實生活中，有不少孩子學習非常努力，確實做到了“我要學”，但由于各種原因，他們的成績不甚理想。其中不少孩子由于心理調節(jié)沒跟上，而產(chǎn)生焦慮，甚至極度焦慮的癥狀，引發(fā)心理疾病，有的甚至上演了人間悲劇。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">2002</span>年<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">7</span>月，年僅１２歲的<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><a ><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd; TEXT-DECORATION: none; text-underline: none"><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">山西</span></span></a></span>臨鋼小學５年級女生恬恬（化名），留下一份“壓力太大”的絕筆后，自縊身亡。<sup><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">[2]</span></sup><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><font size="4">此后不久，南京一名初二的男生墜樓身亡，這位１４歲少年沒有留下任何的遺書，有的僅是褲口袋中尚未做完的試卷。<sup><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">[3]</span></sup>多年來，這樣的慘劇經(jīng)常發(fā)生。昨天，網(wǎng)上又傳來了湖北省宜昌市<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">14</span>歲的女神童覃瑤自殺的噩耗。<sup><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">[4]<o:p></o:p></span></sup></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><font size="4">因此，家長要將孩子引入“要學我”的境界，就必須重視幫助孩子學會心理調節(jié)。孩子們中間流傳的“大考大玩，小考小玩，不考不玩”的說法不盡準確，但基本上反映了調節(jié)的要求。家長要幫助孩子輕松飽滿、信心十足地走進考場，還要讓孩子輕松平和、波瀾不驚地走出考場，不驕不餒地走向人生的下一個階段。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">4.5</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">自知之明，幫助孩子學會自我評價。家長要把孩子引入更高乃至最高的境界，使孩子真正成為學習的主人，還必須幫助孩子對自己的學習進行較為準確的評價，并力爭做到有自知之明。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><st1:chsdate w:st="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="30" month="12" year="1899"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">4.5.1</span></st1:chsdate><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">首先是對學習結果的評價。起初可能只是對一個字、一道題的評價，逐步發(fā)展為一門學科或一段時間乃至所有功課的學習評價。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><st1:chsdate w:st="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="30" month="12" year="1899"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">4.5.2</span></st1:chsdate><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">學習評價不能只停留在學習結果上，還要循序漸進地在學習興趣、學習方法、學習能力等多方面進行。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><st1:chsdate w:st="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="False" day="30" month="12" year="1899"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">4.5.3</span></st1:chsdate><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">對學習進行自我評價還只是一種手段，其目的是使孩子在學習過程中，通過不斷的自我評價去查漏補缺，取長補短，揚長避短，以求整體進步。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><font size="4"> <o:p></o:p></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><font size="4">人的發(fā)展的最高境界是全面自由的發(fā)展，學習的最高境界是“要學我”，讓孩子爭做學習的榜樣，把學習作為自己全面自由發(fā)展的手段。讓我們與家長們一起努力，幫助更多的孩子早日進入這一佳境。<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><o:p><font size="4"> </font></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 48pt; mso-char-indent-count: 4.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><font size="4">陳應俊家庭教育工作室<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 42pt; mso-char-indent-count: 3.5"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體; TEXT-DECORATION: underline"><a href="/u/chenyingjun/"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4">u/chenyingjun/</font></span></a><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><font size="4">中華隔代家庭教育研究中心首席指導<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">·</span>陳應俊<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 42pt; mso-char-indent-count: 3.5"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><a href="/u/xx8844/"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4">u/xx8844/</font></span></a><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 29.65pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.47"><span style="COLOR: #0000cd"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">QQ</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體">：<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd">373191795<o:p></o:p></span></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 29.65pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.47"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: #0000cd; FONT-FAMILY: 宋體"><font size="4">郵箱：<span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: #0000cd"><a href="mailto:373191795@qq.com">373191795@qq.com</a></span></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 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