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<div id="pjnlw7z" class='articleTag'> <span>分類：</span> <a href="/kcms/blog/lst?sys_types=%E4%B8%AA%E6%A1%88%E6%8C%87%E5%AF%BC&tp=blogs">個案指導</a> <a href="/kcms/blog/bloglist?status=publish&u_id=36527&user_types=%E6%9C%AA%E5%88%86%E7%B1%BB">未分類</a> <span>標簽：</span> <a href="/kcms/search/index?q=%E8%87%AA%E9%87%8D">自重</a> <a href="/kcms/search/index?q=%E6%B8%B4%E6%9C%9B">渴望</a> <a href="javascript:void(0);" onclick="kcms.saveit('blogs',263320);">【收藏該博客】</a> </div> <div id="woh47bj" class='articleContent'> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">2014年11月15日個案研究報道：《一個少女對異性交往的困惑和迷?！防罟鹆?/span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">時間：2014年11月15日21:30-22:30 </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">地點：“中華家庭教育網(wǎng)講堂”呱呱視頻房間</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">參加人：中華家庭咨詢指導中心專家團隊及學員、老師、家長、眾多家庭教育愛好者</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">個案網(wǎng)址：http://ajm-engineering.com/kcms/blog/vblog?b_id=262943&u_id=319</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">指導過程： </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 本案例由白麗萍老師提供，李桂林老師主持，張慧萍老師案例介紹，各位專家、老師、學員、家長集體研討。</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">張慧萍老師說：從這個案例可以了解到這位母親和孩子的覺醒還是要早的，這是一個非常好的現(xiàn)象，感覺到這個媽媽對教育孩子是非常上心的、優(yōu)心的。這是非常好的的，從這個個案</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">可以看出這位</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">同學的性格是比較內(nèi)向的，這個性格和家庭當中母親父親比較安穩(wěn)本分、人口比較少的這種狀態(tài)有一定的關系，但是孩子現(xiàn)在又到了青春期了，孩子現(xiàn)在的交往和想法向往又是必然的來到。</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">張慧萍老師的建議：</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 1、父親和母親對孩子的成長特點要有一個了解，特別是青春期與異性交往是正常的，這一點是不可置疑的，希望爸爸媽媽多理解孩子的這種正常交往的意愿。</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 2、父親常常不在家，實際上父親如果能與女兒做到良好的心與心的交流，這樣父愛是不會少的，主要是在父愛的質量上，父親能與女兒多溝通交流，另外父親沒有意識的很清楚的時候，母親經(jīng)常上網(wǎng)，母親可以幫助父親獲得交往的信息，如果父親回來多和女兒在一起溝通交流，給創(chuàng)造一些機會。</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 3、畢竟是女孩子，她的安全是非常重要的，特別是和異性交往的時候，媽媽擔心應該有一定的道理，但不要過于去擔心，這個在我們中華家庭教育網(wǎng)里有一些關于孩子安全的知識和這個網(wǎng)頁，建議媽媽去看一看，這里有家長需要了解的100個安全小知識，這樣您經(jīng)常上網(wǎng)看這個比較方便些，因為女孩子看這個非常重要，另外還可以給女兒講一些關于性知識和防范的知識，如果母親不方便的話，可以給孩子提供一些這方面的書籍，如孫云曉老師曾經(jīng)寫過一本叫《藏在書包里的玫瑰》，把這本書推薦給孩子看，讓孩子可以了解一些這方面的知識。</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 4、我覺得母親在家里和社會交往的機會有點少了，這樣母親可以帶孩子多和親戚或和男性同學走動一些，給孩子創(chuàng)造與異性親距離的接觸，能夠讓孩子學到一些多交往方面的知識增加一些交往的能力。</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">呂鳳琴老師的建議：</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 1、暑假和同學結伴去游玩時被這個男同學喜歡上了，男孩為了給小晶買禮物還給所有的同學都買了，這個男孩子并在別的同學的慫恿下?lián)肀Я诉@個女同學，這個女同學也接受了，家長應該問女兒，他喜歡你、擁抱你，他的心情是什么樣的，也就是說他是以什么樣的觀念、思想、態(tài)度來對待異性相處的，異性之間的相愛，你是否迷戀他，就是說你是認真的嗎？你是負責任的嗎？你是歲自己負責任的嗎？你是對對方負責任的嗎？家長問女兒，你了解這個男孩嗎？你了解他的情感嗎？他的情感有多重？</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 2、她看到別人戀愛的行為，女兒有各種各樣的不宣、鄙夷、羨慕，這些都是很正常的，女兒覺得自己長大了，她有這樣的想法，我覺得是完完全全的、正常的。應該去理解和接納的，要給孩子做的是預防，給打一些預防針，也就是說給孩子講異性之間的安全問題，因為他們都是初中生了，情感達到一定量的時候，他們異性之間接觸就肯定會刺激生理反應，在這個時候女孩自己一定要自重，希望對方也來尊重她。</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 3、在飯桌上談到別的女生和男生互動的很好，自己沒有人邀請，流露出還針對異性交往的向往，確實是這樣，人越?jīng)]有什么就越想得到，越擁有的反而無所謂，哦，原來男女生之間也不過如此啊。媽媽提議可以和男生出去玩、和別的同學一起去參加男生的生日這樣安全。家長的要求也不過分，重要的是自己有較強的免疫力。</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 4、家長在這個時間應該做相應的功課了，什么是相應的功課呢？也就是孩子已經(jīng)步入異性交往的情感之中了或叫戀愛期了，家長要和孩子探討一下，婚姻正確的戀愛觀，可以和孩子交流，問孩子你對婚姻、異性之間的理解，你對愛情的向往。</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 5、家長可以和女兒坐下來面對面的交談之間的各種擔憂。和孩子制定一些規(guī)則和計劃。</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">劉春琴老師給出的分析和建議</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">青春期孩子早戀原因分析：</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-indent:-18pt;margin-left:18pt;"> <span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">1、缺乏父母關愛。</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-indent:-18pt;margin-left:18pt;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;">2</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">、</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">模仿。</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-indent:-18pt;margin-left:18pt;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;">3</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">、</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">攀比。</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-indent:-18pt;margin-left:18pt;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;">4</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">、</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">青春期第二性特征形成，生理變化引起心理的微妙變化?？释c</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">異性交往。</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">母親試著這樣做：</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-indent:-18pt;margin-left:18pt;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;">1</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">、</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">接納孩子對異性有好感，不強烈阻止，越是阻止越是強烈。</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-indent:-18pt;margin-left:18pt;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;">2</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">、</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">這個孩子能跟父母說心里話，說明親子關系很好。媽媽要做到繼續(xù)傾聽，了解他們的進展狀況。時機成熟了可以跟孩子提問討論：</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">（</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;">1</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">）怎樣的男孩才是最優(yōu)秀的？</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">（</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;">2</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">）讓女兒描摹一下她心中的優(yōu)秀男孩。</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">（</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;">3</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">）你確信他是你這一生中遇到的最優(yōu)秀的男孩嗎？</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">（</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;">4</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">）你了解他多少呢？然后鼓勵孩子去發(fā)現(xiàn)這個男孩的優(yōu)點和缺點。</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-indent:21pt;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">如果孩子不確信，那很好，你得繼續(xù)發(fā)現(xiàn)，發(fā)現(xiàn)更好的男孩。這個男孩，可以當做好朋友，不要因為這一棵樹放棄一片森林。</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-indent:21pt;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">如果女兒說很確定，那也很好。如果你們現(xiàn)在開始戀愛，要約會，要關注對方，會為對方著急，吃醋……會耽誤好多時間，這樣你們的學習就會有影響，這個男孩就不會有大好的前途，你愿意跟著一個沒有任何發(fā)展的男人一輩子？或者愿意自己一輩子一無所成？如果不愿意那就不要提前摘下青澀的果子。真愛可以等待！</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">（</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;">5</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">）告訴女兒：只有自己優(yōu)秀了，才會有優(yōu)秀的男孩欣賞，所以先努力優(yōu)秀自己！</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">（</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;">6</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">）其次，母親要給孩子性教育，自尊自愛的教育。建議登陸中華網(wǎng)：青春期中心和女孩教育中心。</span><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">來自公屏上的討論：</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 13 </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">期山西</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">對大家說: 現(xiàn)實中，不少家長經(jīng)常就用“早戀”看待孩子與異性的交往。對此，陳一筠老師并不認同：“青春期中少不了這種社會交往，如何從容、淡定、體面地交往是青春</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 13期山西對大家說: 讓男女生在公開、自然而安全的環(huán)境中正常交往，并不會增加“早戀”的可能性，反而會讓青春期的孩子得到釋放，感受身心上的愉悅。她鼓勵家長在假期多邀請朋友、鄰居、同事的孩子與子女一同進行群體活動。 [21:53:54]</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">扶溝中學陳戰(zhàn)國對大家說: 鼓勵青春期異性正常交往，鼓勵多個男生與多個女生在公共場所共同交往 [21:55:05]</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 13期山西對大家說: “良好的同學交往，有助于均衡智力發(fā)展。 ”陳一筠說。男女在智力的結構和方向上有所不同，通過同學交往，可以幫助克服差異，優(yōu)勢互補，逐漸消除今后將</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 13期山西對大家說: 家長要調整自己的心態(tài)。 [21:57:11]</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 對大家說: 想要怎樣去創(chuàng)造和男孩子的交往 [21:57:52]</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 13期山西對大家說: 在孩子的青春期，尤其父親要抽出時間多關心女兒，父親多和女兒談談心，鼓勵她敞開心扉，可以給孩子自信心，并幫助她穩(wěn)定情緒。 [21:57:58]</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 陳戰(zhàn)國對大家說: 讓孩子的班主人給孩子創(chuàng)造與男生交往的機會。 [21:58:53]</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 13期山西對大家說: 給孩子創(chuàng)造一些戶外活動，或者生日聚會等等 [21:58:58]</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 賈秀香---13期山西對大家說: 如何適應青春期到來引起的生理和心理變化。作為媽媽，要多關心女兒的身心健康，在身體和精神上是否遇到了什么問題。 [22:00:13]</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">扶溝中學陳戰(zhàn)國對劉春琴說: 在班內(nèi)上課時分組討論問題時，給孩子創(chuàng)造機會， [22:00:39]</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">呂鳳琴（博愛樂嬰）對大家說: 媽媽要和孩子講故事，提前找好故事，變成自己的故事。 </span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">賈秀香---13期山西對劉春琴說: 您分享的非常非常好，學習了收益 [22:34:27]</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;">白麗萍對劉春琴說: 各位老師的指導真的是太好了！十分受益！感謝各位老師！感恩各位老師！</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p style="text-align:left;"> <span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"> 編者語：短短的一個多小時很快就過去了，各位老師的精彩發(fā)言此起彼伏，整個個案研究過程緊促有秩。主持人最后做了總結發(fā)言。通過公屏的上的上麥交流和公平上的文字交流，相信家長已經(jīng)得到了一些啟發(fā)，會有所改變，這是我們大家所期待的。祝這個小女孩和媽媽早日走出迷茫之中。我們同時也期待著下個周六的精彩活動。</span><span style="font-family:'宋體';font-size:14pt;"></span> </p> <p 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